I was recently talking with my cousin who was telling me about the end of her marriage. She had only been married a few years and has a young son. She was telling me about her relationship and things that her husband had done. She then asked me how my relationship was with my husband. I felt bad telling her the truth, even though we have been married for 10 years, together for over 18 in total, we are really happy. We don't fight, and haven't really ever had a fight that either of us can remember. When I was telling my husband about the conversation later he asked me if I told her that we are the exception, not the rule of marriage.
We recently have started talking a lot about this. We see many of our friends relationships and hear them complain about each other and talk about their fights. We both wonder how these relationships work, and if they will continue to work in the future. Many of my friends have said things like "they have to work at their relationship/marriages" and that it "isn't easy but you make it work". My husband and I don't really feel like we have ever had to "work" at our marriage. It just always seemed to work by itself.
I have been wondering a lot lately if we really are the "exception" as my husband puts it or are there many more like us. Maybe we just have a lot friends in relationships that are very, very different from ours. I was talking about this with a friend of mine who said maybe it was because my husband and I have been together for so long. I was 14 when we started "going out" and he was 15. We have been together ever since, never breaking up, never wanting to try out other relationships. We got married after I finished university, bought a house, have two kids, own a business. We still enjoy spending time together, even after 18 years. I can't imagine ever wanting to have a life without him in it and I am very confident in saying he feels the same way.
I don't really ever expect anyone to read this. In fact I have a feeling I think I might be happy if no one does. I just have been thinking a lot lately and I guess I am using this as more of a journal than anything. I think I will probably end up talking more about my kids, and my frustration with my job than my marriage, but that's what has been on my mind lately so we will see if I can figure out if we are an exception or not, I have a feeling we may just be and I am very happy that we are.
